Monday, December 2, 2013

The defeat of yourself

She awaits the first mistake to capture the reason, that excuse, this way she's not at fault.

 Believes the rest is invisible to her fear, her insecurity, her failure to fall, her biggest fear of all.

 As a girl she had the world at her finger tips, knew she would conquor it all. Never knew what life had to bring, but knew it would be worth it all

Now the time has arised once again, another chance, another risk. She looks around, feels out of control. Terrified to say, horrified to know. 

Longing for what she dreamed for, but with no acceptance because of her belief of what she already learnt.

 It's like a dream that always ends the same but never ends at all. You know it's in your control but is but out of control. 

She learnt so well to catch herself, refuses to fall. Sickens her that she fails with no gumption, no feelings, nothing at all. 

Not much can scare her but allow her to look your way, she won't look very long, unable to look that far. 

It's always been easy to love what couldn't be loved. But you, you she desires endlessly. Wants that chance but habitly runs.

 She don't want saving and don't need it really. Just a hand to take a jump, a leap by far.